Posted by In the autumn of 2021, I was living in a small 1K apartment, just 28 square meters in size, in Nakano, Tokyo.
Around that time, my brain once again began showing symptoms characteristic of schizophrenia—auditory and visual hallucinations.
It felt as if an endless banquet was taking place inside my head — chaotic, loud, and filled with the presence of countless gods, spiritual entities, and voices of varying frequencies.
They spoke to me incessantly, one after another, never stopping.
After several days of what felt like brainwashing—an unrelenting mental torment —
the energy of that presence slowly spread from my brain down into my cervical spine.
Eventually, my head began turning left and right on its own, no longer obeying my will.
It was as if I had become a marionette, manipulated from above by unseen strings.
That force then extended to every joint in my body, and finally, even my muscles and senses slipped out of my control.
It felt as though I had been completely overtaken — reduced to a soulless, deranged puppet, moving without my own will.
“Am I losing myself again?”
“God… please save me.”
“I want to live… I want to survive.”
This wasn’t the first time I had gone through something like this.
The first episode happened a year earlier, in the summer of 2020.
It came without warning, lasted an entire month, and ended without reason—leaving behind only confusion and numbness.
And this time?
It had already been several days.
Though I could still think on some level, I had lost all control over my head and body.
My thoughts spiraled into despair.
“This time… maybe I won’t be so lucky.”
“Maybe this will last forever.”
What if I could never return to normal life?
What if my family and friends started seeing me as someone broken—mentally unstable?
What if I were committed to a psychiatric institution… and never allowed to leave again?
That fear lodged itself deep inside me and refused to let go.
I kept asking myself over and over, but no matter how many times I tried, I couldn’t get any answers from those voices.
The voices and the energy just kept controlling me—forcing me to pace back and forth in the same space, spinning in circles with no end.
They kept telling me strange, surreal stories that somehow felt connected to me, yet were completely nonsensical.
The constant barrage drained my mental and physical strength, until I could barely eat.
At first, I could still manage to leave the house once a day to grab a meal.
But eventually, I shut myself inside, unable to step outside at all—unable to take in even a bite of food.
And yet, my mind remained eerily alert.
Voices that didn’t belong to me kept flooding in, and my brain never stopped turning, thinking, spinning.
My body grew thinner, weaker.
And just then — a voice came through.
“Get on the bed and lie down.”
I still couldn’t control myself.
All I could do was lie on the bed in a spread-eagle position, as if following a command.
My mind remained flooded with noise, a constant static that kept disrupting my awareness.
It hurts so much.
“When will this finally end…?”
My body grew heavier and heavier, while my heart began to beat rapidly—
the only organ strangely full of energy,
pounding like it had just finished a 100-meter sprint, wild and unstoppable.
Then suddenly, my consciousness — my entire world — was swallowed by darkness.
My heart, still racing, than it stopped.
After entering the world of darkness, I sensed a massive, radiant blue light approaching me at an incredible speed from the distance.
The energy of that blue glow was overwhelmingly intense—so blinding, in fact, that even though I was in a state of pure consciousness, I couldn’t bear to look at it directly.
(Looking back, that was the most mysterious part. My physical eyes had already been closed —
and yet, in the state of soul-consciousness, I still experienced the sensation of light being too blinding to face.)
When the being came before me, I sensed that there was a judge-like figure standing on either side of it.
Strangely, compared to the vast, blinding blue light that I couldn’t look at directly,
the two figures on either side appeared clearly to me in human form.
They looked just like characters I had seen in Chinese period dramas on TV,
each holding a rod or staff-like object in their hands.
And as I stood before that overwhelming blue presence, a powerful sense of recognition suddenly surged within me.
In the culture I’m familiar with, this being is known as the ruler of the underworld—Yama, the King of Hell.
Before Yama, the King of the Underworld, a judgment table appeared,
and on it were placed three distinct objects.
The two judges stood on either side of the table.
Then, Yama summoned another luminous body—this one noticeably larger than the others.
And in that very moment, a wave of recognition washed over me.
I knew exactly what it was:
the “life review” I’d heard about since childhood, and seen portrayed in anime.
The judgment began.
With the appearance of that light, the entire scene shifted in an instant.
It turned into the style of a GameBoy game I used to play as a child—
low resolution, retro textures,
and a grayscale palette of only black, white, and gray.
The whole scene was wrapped in a quiet, nostalgic atmosphere.
The two judges began moving their rod-like objects.
Their movements reminded me of early Tamagotchi characters — not smooth at all, but somehow cute and endearing.
There was nothing intimidating or frightening about it.
Maybe… they truly understood me.
Maybe they knew that presenting things this way would help ease my fear and anxiety.
At first, I thought it would be just like in anime, that I’d see scenes from my past life, playing out one by one like film reels, vivid and clear.
But in my case, it felt more like some kind of automated process — a procedural transition that left me confused and unsettled.
“Why… didn’t I see anything?”
I kept whispering that to myself in my mind.
After a series of mechanical motions, the judges suddenly stopped moving.
And then, a large black kanji character appeared before me:「罪」(Sin).
It looked three-dimensional, like it was made from dark red neon tubing.
Only the upper-left corner was blinking faintly with black light,
while the rest of it was dull, dim, and lifeless.
Yama, the King of the Underworld, pointed at the massive kanji character for “Sin” floating before me.
Through a powerful mix of imagery and telepathic resonance, he spoke directly into my mind.
“You have sinned.”
“You have harmed others — physically or emotionally.”
What I felt in that moment was this:
Even if I had not committed crimes deemed severe by the standards of the human world,
I had, in pursuit of my own desires, caused pain to others.
Even if those people had never realized it was me,
Even if they only came to understand the harm later — I was still responsible. I still bore that guilt.
Yama then continued, “In the life ahead of you, you must atone for these sins.”
With that, his gaze returned to the three symbolic objects resting upon the judgment table.
Lined up from left to right were
the Life Path Number 3
a Chinese-style Zen gate
and a metal dial engraved with the Chinese characters “善” (Goodness), “好” (Affection), and “美” (Beauty).
Then, through telepathy, He spoke directly into my mind:“From this point on, your life path number will shift from 3 to 4.”
At that moment, the number floating above the judgment table began to spin rapidly, and in the blink of an eye, it transformed into a radiant golden number 4, forged in gold and gleaming with divine light.
After passing the Chinese-style Zen gate, He guided my gaze toward the metal dial engraved with Chinese characters.
The pointer stopped at the character “善” (goodness), signifying that my future would be guided by the belief in living with kindness and integrity.
Then, the dial began to spin again, eventually pointing to the character “好” (harmony/love), a symbol often associated with the arrival of children.
At the time, I didn’t fully grasp its meaning, but much later, as I pieced everything together, I realized it was foretelling that children would one day enter my life.
Finally, the pointer rested on the character “美” (beauty).
This was my destination—a life led in the direction of beauty.
But this “beauty” wasn’t about appearance or fleeting pleasures.
Rather, it was about embodying a consciousness of beauty in how I live, in my actions, in the way I influence the people and events I touch—guiding the world, little by little, toward something truly beautiful.
As the message from the dial came to an end, Yama — the Lord of the Underworld — left me with one final sentence:
“You have the strength to find a way through this tribulation.”
The moment those words echoed in my mind, my consciousness began to be pulled away— Yama, the judgment table, the three sacred objects—
everything began to fade into the distance, and I could feel myself being drawn back into my physical body.
Then, in that very instant — my heart, which had stopped, suddenly came back to life.
It was as if blood had been forcefully pumped into it, and a rapid, vigorous heartbeat erupted in my chest once more.
“I’m alive”—I could feel it clearly, undeniably.
Ah… I’ve returned to the world of the living.
But my tribulation isn’t over yet.
From this point on, I must find a way—on my own—to survive and safely overcome this ordeal.
It was only several months after surviving that ordeal, when I looked back on this bizarre experience,
that I finally realized — What I had gone through… was a near-death experience.
“At that moment, I was dead.”
Postscript:
●About the Lord of the Underworld
After that experience, I began to follow divine guidance, diving into the myths and mysterious tales from around the world.
Gradually, I came to realize that the high-dimensional being known in my culture as “Yama” or the Lord of Death — is also, in Western Greek mythology, connected to the god Hades, one of the Olympian Twelve, who rules the underworld.
Perhaps on other planets, in other belief systems and mythologies,
He appears under different divine forms, revered by those who worship in their own ways.
But one truth remains unchanged —
He is always the one who governs the cycle of souls, the one who judges after death, deciding where each soul must go in the life beyond.
●Thanks to the modern media platform YouTube, I came across and came to understand the story of a man named George Ritchie.
He was a psychiatrist in the West, and in 1943, he experienced a near-death state for approximately nine minutes.
During that time, he underwent a personal near-death experience.
In the process, he too encountered a powerful being of light,
who, through telepathy, guided him to understand the realms of hell that exist across different dimensions of Earth.
And God told me — that very being of light… was the Lord of the Underworld.
Recommended Reading：https://www.amazon.com/Life-After-Raymond-Moody/dp/0553100807
●The Chinese-style Zen gate placed on the judgment table of King Yama
It was only after I had reached a certain stage in my soul’s spiritual training that I was brought back to that scene in time and space, and he allowed me to open it. As my soul crossed that gate, it symbolized the awakening of a new awareness—one that could travel freely through the past, the present, the future, and even across parallel timelines.
●No near-death experience happens by chance.
Each one is a carefully orchestrated event by the Creator, the Great Divine Spirit.
Every near-death experience carries the will of God, and the wisdom or awareness brought back to this world—if the person chooses to share it—will undoubtedly serve to uplift and bless the world.
Recommended Reading：https://www.amazon.co.jp/-/en/Dr-Eben-Alexander-III/dp/0749958790